Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
