Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
