he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize