Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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