and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize