His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
