is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
