All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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