That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
