she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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