we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS