Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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