He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
