so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
