dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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