You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
