help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's never too late to be topless.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
