You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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