so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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