Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize