What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
