I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
