I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
