You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize