Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize