I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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