why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
