well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
