Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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