Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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