did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
