look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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