Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
