Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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