i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
