You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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