You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
this will be a night to untag.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize