Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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