Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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