The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She's the barista slut.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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