Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
