Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Be still, my beating vagina.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
