i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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