remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
