Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
