My Higher Power is John Stamos
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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