our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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