there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
