just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize