I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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