Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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