awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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