Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
