these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
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i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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