I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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