Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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