I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
