Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
