I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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